The Banner

The Banner is the pilot episode of the series.

Plot
Best friends and amateur musicians Matt Johnson and Jay McCarrol discuss how to open a hypothetical show at the Rivoli, a venue in downtown Toronto, for their band, Nirvanna the Band. They are unable to decide whether they want their tone to be optimistic or self-deprecating, ultimately settling on creating a sense of awe in the audience that Jay likens to seeing the dinosaurs for the first time in Jurassic Park. Matt calls the Rivoli's office to follow up on a package he and Jay dropped off regarding the band, but find it had not gotten back to management. When the Rivoli employee asks if they have a picture of their band to prove its existence, Matt realizes they need to get one taken.

They go to the library, where Matt picks out several books that are full of photographs of bands in hopes of getting inspired by it, and Jay checks out several VHS tapes of movies like Jurassic Park, Home Alone, and The Negotiator. Jay is fascinated with the musicians' wearing of leather pants, while Matt likes that they all smoke cigarettes. They go to Sears to get their photo taken, Jay wearing leather pants and Matt trying to smoke three cigarettes at the same time. After much debate, they scrap the cigarettes and take a simple picture of them both kneeling.

Matt gives the picture to a Rivoli staff member, but not knowing what to do with it, she drops it on the ground when he turns away. Realizing the picture is too small to get people's attention, Matt devises a plan to make a gigantic banner of the picture and hang it over a building across the street. While preparing the plan, the two watch Jurassic Park together. Matt comments that Samuel Jackson's character is too stoic and wonders how he keeps his cool in the face of danger. The two are initially overjoyed after hanging the banner and seeing the amused reactions of passersby, until Jay realizes his pants are ripped on the poster and his penis is visible. Horrified, he remembers hearing a ripping sound when kneeling for the photo, and that it was his leather pants tearing. Upset, he rejects Matt's plan to paint over his penis on the poster until Matt realizes the secret to Samuel Jackson's calmness: smoking cigarettes. He makes Jay smoke a cigarette, which calms him down and convinces him to go with Matt's plan.

Not wanting to be recognized, they make large papier-mâché heads of themselves and wear them as they hurry to the banner. Unable to see clearly because of the disguises, Matt ends up painting an arrow pointing to Jay's penis and realizes they are painting with wood varnish. Panicking, Jay encourages him to smoke. Also having trouble seeing, he holds his lighter to the paint roller and ignites the varnish and banner. They flee the scene on a bus and shed their disguises as it goes up in flames. As Jay wonders if they can make a second first impression, Matt tells him that they cannot.

In a post-credits scene, Matt devises a plan to get Nirvanna the Band listed in NOW Magazine. Smoking a cigarette, Matt impersonates a gangster, monologuing how he will track down and take revenge on "the guy who switched my paint for varnish." When he inhales his cigarette wrong, Matt and Jay decide to quit smoking.

Appearances

 * Jay McCarrol
 * Matt Johnson

Notes & trivia

 * Since Matt and Jay (the creators, not the characters) knew they had to be smoking cigarettes to set fire to the paint, the original idea for the episode was to have random passersby on the street tell Matt and Jay that cigarettes would relax them. They changed it to reference Jurassic Park because it "made more sense."